Friday, August 7, 2015

Jesus, take the wheel!

My entire body ached as I laid there on the bristled grass.  But I steeled myself and sat up, just in time to see my car slam into a rock and flip over.  My car!  My white horse on my quest for vengeance against the assholes the stole my lawn gnomes!  Who could have… Jesus.

I couldn’t believe it.  I trusted that bobble head with our ride to glory and now it was up in flames.  How could he fail me when I needed him most?  I mean, it’s Jesus.  If you can’t trust a bobble head of Jesus to drive, who can you trust?  I rushed forward to pull him out and give him an earful when the car was wracked with explosions.

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