My entire body ached as I laid there on the bristled grass. But I steeled myself and sat up, just in time to see my car slam into a rock and flip over. My car! My white horse on my quest for vengeance against the assholes the stole my lawn gnomes! Who could have… Jesus.
I couldn’t believe it. I trusted that bobble head with our ride to glory and now it was up in flames. How could he fail me when I needed him most? I mean, it’s Jesus. If you can’t trust a bobble head of Jesus to drive, who can you trust? I rushed forward to pull him out and give him an earful when the car was wracked with explosions.