This is a tree. My body is buried under it.
Why? Because this tree killed me.
Oh, I don’t mean I fell out of it
when I was a kid and hit my head. No,
when I was in college, I was listening to Daft Punk to clear my head before an
exam. Trust me, it helps. Anyway, I was blasting my music because I was
really stressed when all of a sudden, I heard a knock. I figured it was the RA, so I checked the
door. No one. As I closed the door, I turned around and flipped.
There was the tree, which had
apparently walked all the way from the dining hall. It asked me in a deep, gruff voice to turn
the music down, since it was trying to sleep.
In fairness, it wasn’t very nice about it, so I guess it made sense that
I screamed, yelled “demon tree,” and jumped out the window to attack it. It moved aside and instead of catching me, it
let me fall and hit my head.
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